what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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