Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
I think people are normalizing furries
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