At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
I can't leave. She doesn't trust me and my penis being out in the world without supervision.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Randomize
