Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I think I just sharted jello shots
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