So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
I am midnight drunk by noon
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Randomize
