these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Randomize
