if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
this will be a night to untag.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
