Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
