I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It was an entirely appropriate time and place for sexual thoughts.
That doesn't make it ok to play by play me your honeymoon!
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