Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Dude that bathroom stall was not tall enough to be doing lines in, guys kept peeking over and giving us high fives
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
