It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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