the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
I think I kinda scared him when I tried to wrap his snake around his dick while he was trying to nap.
Randomize
