Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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