thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
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