We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Randomize
