some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I want you to know I am at work super hungover and I threw up in the mop sink. I feel like you will appreciate this
You're my fucking hero
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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