I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I'm not trying to be dramatic but if someone makes you choose between getting a Brazilian or dying. For the sake of your sanity just fucking die
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
You guys are like the reason that ketamine is a controlled substance.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
Randomize
