"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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