he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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