There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
Randomize
