I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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