apparently the secret to your success is patron
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
