i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
