ur dog is so gonna tell on us one day.
for doing what?
for smoking bowls out on the deck while your parents aren't home.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Randomize
