i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
