He disabled his match.com account in front of me
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
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