That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
Randomize
