at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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