I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Randomize
