did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
You know, be my cock's hype man.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Her son walked into the middle of the living room, took off his diaper, shit on the floor, smiled at me, and walked out, as if nothing happened.
So date night went well?
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
