Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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