In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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