Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
New drinking game: take a shot everytime Jay-Z is played during the NFL draft.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
