Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
Dude, you can't drink while watching Star Trek. You hardly understand it sober.
It's an alien shaped cup though. i think that'll help me absorb.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
