Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
