the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
On way back. With a shopping cart. Minimal casualties.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
