covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize
