So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
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