My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
