so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
She abandoned me on the doorstep of her hostel. Turns out you can't bring one night stands into those places. Slept in a train station next to a tramp. He gave me chips. And didn't steal my shit while I slept. So I'm counting this one as a win
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Randomize
