dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
lets just say that i have already today: gotten drunk, got in a fight, got stranded an hour away from home, found a ride, sobered up, and slept. woken back up, and here i am. its been a long day. Day drinking is bad for friendships.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
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