My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
