went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
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