you puked in the cab and all over yourself and tried to convince the cabby it was there already when he got upset... then you puked again. not too convincing are you
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize