Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
