Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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