That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
