If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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