he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
