The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Randomize