Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
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