whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Randomize