Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
