its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
Randomize
