told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I just puke and rallied at my anniversary dinner #winning
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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