This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
