How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
Randomize
