What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
farters have to be the big spoon...
high people should be assigned attendants
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
I don't know what's happening. Everyone is wearing beaks.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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