is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
