His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize
