Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
I never thought I would encounter a situation that was "Too Gay" for me...and yet there I was.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
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