Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Randomize
