By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
Randomize