The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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